This year will Mark Two Years since my mother left us. A new sense of reality is far from actually reality. Often times I feel like I exist in an alternate universe. My days feels so lifeless, it’s like I exist in a perpetual world of sadness, so profound, so loud, so present. There are days when we get glimpses of smiles, and chuckles of laughter but, even those comes with a price. Each day gets harder to live, coupled with the mountain of events life throws at us. For the first time since her departure, we celebrated Christmas. To say it was different is an understatement. We tried not to overwhelm ourselves by going too traditionally her. That made for a more seamless welcome back. Admittedly though, our every thought and conversations all surrounded her. My mother loved the holidays, and we loved it even more because she did.
2023 was a year of finding a sense of self again. The identity of grief rips so much away, that even being present, feels quite the opposite. I travelled a bit in 2023 and found somewhat of a travel rhythm. I am not certain when the drug of traveling would become a thing of the past for me. Talk about, finding a sense of self, healing, self growth, creating new boundaries, sticking to boundaries, finally saying yes to yourself and finding new nuances that now makes up the comparable you. The ‘You’ now, who became so sure of oneself, who refuses to sit in societal norms. The you who breaks free from antiquated and misguided expectations of you. The you who dismisses judgements and ridicule with ease, because they have no clue who you are. And more importantly, they haven’t met the new you.
As I look back and give you a glimpse of what my year was like in prints, I say cheers to an amazing 2024. If you’re having a late start to the year – Happy New Year to you. If it doesn’t feel like a new one for you, start it when you’re ready to. Don’t let time frames dedicate so much of your life. You got this!
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